Building a community

in my 20s

As a teenager, I imagined my 20s would look a lot like Sex and the City or 13 Going on 30 (without the excessive credit card use). Very social, very stylish, and very fast-paced. What I have noticed is that nothing happens that way unless you build it. I had one friend when I left high school and 0 when I left college. I made friends along the way- usually through work- who I lost connection with when I ultimately left that job. I’m starting to realize that the SATC women had it right. You can’t work and play with the same people because you *only* trauma-bond over the job. There ends up being nothing to talk about if one of you leaves.

This left me with a dilemma, one I am handling very well. I had no friends in which a strong foundation had been built and I had to start putting in the work to do it. I joined a paid service, a few instagram pages, and Bumble BFF. So far, I have gone on 15+ girl dates and a few group outings. It’s hard to out yourself out there and even harder to make these connections last through the waves of life, but so far it is working.

This post is not meant to be sad, but quite the opposite. I feel liberated and am getting my sense of self back. I am out in the world and building my circle, something that I plan on continuing to do for some time.